the_rck

Currently sitting at Skyline, waiting for Cordelia to board the bus to camp. It's raining so we're waiting inside while they load the luggage. Scott's still here. He doesn't have to be at work until 11. My main worry is that we forgot to pack something that Cordelia will actually need.

They misspelled Cordelia's name on her name tag-- Cordilia. She's got a new one now, but her name is wrong everywhere else. The application was online, so I have no idea how they got it wrong.

I tried increasing the humidity on my c-PAP last night, and it turned out to be a mistake. I slept about two hours then got up to use the bathroom. At that point, I started sneezing uncontrollably, and my nose started running. I wasn't able to put the c-PAP back on and didn't sleep much the rest of the night because of the problems breathing (which are pretty much the same problems I had when I took the humidity down to 3). I guess 4 is where I need to be. It's not ideal, and still gives me some problems, but...

I'm probably going to lie down after I post this. I'm debating whether to try sleeping on the couch or to go in and join Scott in the bedroom. I've got about three hours before Cordelia gets home. If I sleep that long and am on the couch, I'll be where she can find me. If I'm in the bedroom, not so much.

Cordelia has stated that this working all day thing is hard but that she likes working with the little kids (five and six year olds). They all apparently think she's quite old, that fourteen isn't possible because it's too close to their ages.

I still haven't heard if my stepfather will be able to get treatment for his eye next week. I'm not sure that my mother will even think to tell me, so I should call this weekend and ask. I also want to find out if she'd like me to sit with her during the procedure (I might even be able to drag Cordelia along).

I'm hoping to cook a turkey breast in the instant pot tonight. I kind of suspect that it's not thawed all the way through yet, however, so it may have to wait another day or two. I have no idea what Scott will eat in that case. All we've got, leftover-wise, is the lentil soup that probably made Scott sick (He had hives, so there was some sort of allergen in there).

I'm making progress on my Captive Audience story, but I have a central motivation plot hole that I have to fill in somehow. There aren't any comments at all on the beta post for the exchange, so I can't go that route.

I'm feeling so very, very overheated right now. I know that part of the problem is that the only way I can get caffeine right this moment is by making and drinking hot tea (cold brewed will take about twenty hours, so it's not an immediate option). Well, I could spend a couple of hours going to the store to buy something. Decidedly not worth it to.

I'm at home alone right this moment. Cordelia had a volunteer shift at the downtown library this morning and plans to meet up with friends at the Traverwood library in the afternoon. She'll go home with them, and we'll pick her up at 9:30, after movie night with her friends. Their current plan is to watch Grease.

A couple of nights ago, I cooked the remaining ground turkey in the instant pot with some great northern beans and turkey bacon. I added chicken broth and some herbs/spices. I think I misjudged that because it almost gives me reflux. It doesn't actually; I can just tell that I'm near the tipping point.

I've managed the two most urgent phone calls, but neither matter is resolved yet. The second call is almost certainly going to end up with me having to call a different doctor's office about parameters/limitations for Cordelia's knee in high school gym. I was hoping not to have to because that's the doctor that wanted us to do surgery. The first call went to voicemail, so nothing's resolved until I actually manage to talk to the person.

The other call I should make is to Shar Instruments to ask about buying a viola and whether or not we can do it on installments. Of course, buying a viola kind of requires us to be fairly sure Cordelia's done growing. She's only grown half an inch in the last year and a half, and she's in the height range where all the women in my family tend to fall (5'1 to 5'3"). It's just that everyone in Scott's family is tall, so Cordelia's still hoping she'll get taller.

I'm trying to decide whether filling out insurance forms is more important than starting to write right this moment. My procrastination levels are set to 11 at the moment. The forms are important, very much so, but would there be any harm in having Scott fill the dratted things out this evening?

I have given our old crock pot to our cleaning lady. She'll actually use it, and we haven't touched it in years. The stoneware inserts are really too heavy for me at this point. I don't think this is the sort of thing that's worth holding onto for the years until Cordelia moves out and might want it. Plus, I'm pretty sure she'd rather have an Instant Pot instead.

Cordelia is now saying that she doesn't want to go to camp in August because she doesn't think she can handle a week without me. She also says that she's sure all of the other kids will be awful people and that there will be so many people present that there's no hope of her managing to spend any time with the people she actually knows.

She's been wanting lots of hugs and cuddling and reassurance that I'll always be there for her. She's also afraid any time she lets herself stop and think (mostly in the evenings). Her days have been pretty full, but she comes home and tells me that, even though she had fun, she missed me horribly. I think she's got some sort of worry that, if she's not checking up on me regularly, I'll just vanish.

I finally listened to the voicemail Cordelia's psychiatrist left. She says that the Celexa ought to stay at a steady level for twenty four hours on a single dose and that this may mean the dose is too low. Cordelia is afraid of upping the dose because she's connected her tiredness to the medication. I need to call the doctor back on Monday to discuss it.

Cordelia has more or less mastered swallowing small pills. Last night, she asked what I take for cramps, and I gave her a naproxen. It took her two swallows to get it down, but she did, and she was astonished to discover that it did help.

Her report card came today. It's all A's with an A+ in gym and an A- in algebra. Cordelia's of the opinion that they can't have counted the algebra final in that grade because she thinks that would have taken her down to B+ or even B range. I can't tell from PowerSchool whether or not she's right. It doesn't actually matter. B grades are good, too, and that particular class has been nasty for all the students due to the teacher not being very good.

I've got the laundry all washed, and one load is dry and upstairs.

I very much want to nap, but I need to be ready to leave here in less than two hours, and I don't think there's time. I also think that I'm too stressed to sleep. I'm delaying taking Ativan because I think that I will need it more for our nephew's graduation which starts seven hours from now than I do for the appointment.

I've had four cups of black tea so far today and 12 oz of Coca-Cola.

I'm trying to figure out whether or not to dress up before going to my appointment. I'm not sure I'll have time to change after. Of course, I'm also not sure I have anything even remotely dressy that fits and has short sleeves.

Also, it's kind of wet outside, and, depending on timing, I may have to take the bus home. I don't think it's currently raining, but it's threatening, and everything out there is wet from earlier rain. Our concrete front steps, which are usually grayish, are kind of brown right now.

I'm also not sure that I'll get dinner tonight. It will depend on when my appointment ends and how long it takes me to get home. I'm tired enough right now, that I'm having trouble figuring out what to eat for lunch. I've had some saltines, four almonds, and two slices of cheese.

I made two phone calls yesterday but also added more calls to my to do list. I think that one of them is going to be manageable today because I'm probably going to get voicemail. Maybe I can manage calling Medequip, too, but I'm not going to get upset with myself if I don't.

Cordelia enjoyed Greenfield Village but was annoyed by the gift shop because nothing had any sort of price tag. The only way to find out what things cost was to take them up to the register and ask, so the line was very, very long the entire time her class was shopping.

The concert only lasted about forty minutes. The eighth graders were obviously more experienced than the seventh graders, even to my ear. Cordelia says that they all know that most of the seventh graders just don't practice. The eighth graders do practice, but there are only nine kids in the orchestra class, three violins, three violas, two cellos, and a bass. Some of the songs the eighth graders did sounded to me like they were-- How to put it? Thin, maybe. As if they'd sound better with more instruments playing. Some of them also didn't sound right with just strings. The best number, in my opinion, was the 'honors orchestra' number. All the eighth graders, about half the seventh graders, and a handful of sixth graders put in practice time during lunch hours all term to work on just that one piece, and it worked.

Cordelia's friend, the one with the concussion, was at the concert. According to her mother, she's still having fairly bad headaches and still has some memory gaps. She has, for example, no memory at all of the class trip to Cedar Point. The day of the injury, she couldn't remember the names of any of her friends and, when asked to name her teacher, gave the name of the teacher they had in fifth grade. She's also not allowed to use any of the online textbooks yet which is a problem because they simply don't have paper copies available.

Cordelia got her assignments for science center camp volunteering, and they scheduled her for the week of choir camp, so she's trying to get that changed. It looks like they're trying to schedule her for every week in August which isn't going to be great because that's when she's due for her annual physical. I really don't want to push that into September given how difficult it will be to retrieve her from Skyline for appointments. Also, I want to consult her doctor about whether or not we should ask for some sort of accommodations with regard to gym class in order to minimize the risk of another dislocation. I'm pretty worried about that happening in gym, but the class is mandatory, and the only choice about it is whether to take it single sex or coed (I have no idea how they sort the genderqueer kids. The schools do acknowledge that such kids exist, but I don't think there's an option for them to be in a class only with each other).

I called the choir director as Skyline yesterday, as she'd asked me to, and got her voicemail. I left a message and haven't heard back. I waited until after the school day was over because I assumed that she wouldn't answer her phone while teaching.

Cordelia decided that she was close enough to done with her big project (all that's left is eight more illustrations) that we could celebrate last night after all, so we went to dinner at Saica. She tried something new. Actual raw fish sushi, a tray with a variety of different things. I got a bento and brought most of it home; that fed me and Cordelia for breakfast this morning.

Cordelia liked her presents. We mostly got her books. I watched her wishlist for months and jumped on books when good used copies came up. There were two Funko Pop figures, too. General Leia and Finn, if I recall correctly. She says that Baby Groot is still her favorite. She also thought that General Leia looks weird because of not having a mouth.

I'm still not sleeping well with the c-PAP. I'm waking more often. It used to be that I could sleep about six hours without needing the bathroom, but now it's a maximum of about three hours. At that point, I wake fully and won't get back to sleep unless I empty my bladder. I think that, on school nights, I'm getting about five hours of sleep. No wonder my legs ache and I'm starting to get headaches a lot.

Generally, by the time I'm ready to nap, it's lunch time, and then there's not enough time after lunch to actually sleep before Cordelia gets home. She doesn't like me napping when she's home and will come in to check on me every twenty minutes.

The lab test results from my ER trip were released to me today. I have no idea what most of the things tested for are, but I think there's at least one thing I want to ask my primary care doctor about when I see her next week. The chest x-ray showed a 'slightly elevated left hemidiaphragm,' and that's not something that's ever been mentioned on any previous chest x-ray. Dr Google gives scary information about that that I really think doesn't apply here because they wouldn't have let me leave the ER as casually as they did if they thought I had, say, an abdominal tumor.

I've turned on the air conditioner now. I need to schedule a tune up for the system. It was 85F in here when I checked the thermostat last night, and we try to keep it a bit cooler than that, especially since I'm still having problems with feeling overheated in spite of having stopped the Tamoxifen.

Scott meant to wrap Cordelia's birthday presents last night while she was at an orientation meeting for one of her summer volunteer things, but it completely slipped both of our minds. I guess she'll have to deal with gift bags, because I really don't want to deal with how my hands will feel if I try to do the wrapping. Last night was the last chance for Scott to do anything before her birthday while she wasn't home.

She's asked to celebrate her birthday on Saturday instead of tomorrow because of a big school project that's due Friday. She's been asking me repeatedly what part of speech certain things are, and I answer and then second guess and triple guess. Is 'most' in 'most are red' a noun or a pronoun? If it was 'most apples are red,' it would be an adjective. Is it still one when the noun is implied? Is 'that' in 'this is the thing that we decided' a conjunction or a pronoun or something else entirely?

My Fandom5K recipient hasn't given me any sort of feedback on my fic. Those went public at midnight, Eastern, Saturday/Sunday, and my recipient didn't put a comment on the AFK post in the community, so I don't know what's up there.

I finished one library book yesterday, an actual novel aimed at adults, and got about a third of the way into a second one (which can't be renewed and is due Sunday). I stopped because I hit a point where I'm pretty sure something I don't want to watch is about to happen.

I've had three zits in the last two days, so I'm wondering if my body's gearing up for a period. I don't want one and haven't had one since early October. If I get one, it resets the clock on menopause and, of course, will just generally be a PITA. I turn 50 on the 26th, so it's sort of early for full on menopause (plus my hormone levels don't support me being there quite yet), but... It would be so nice not to have to deal with that again.

My to do list for today is to shower and to get the trash and recycling out. After that, I have things to read, watch, and write. I'd kind of like to nap, too. I had an awful time getting to sleep last night because I was kind of keyed up.

Yesterday was my last OT appointment, and it was shorter than my scheduled time because we'd covered everything on my list by forty minutes in. I got advice on a couple of things that are not currently problems but were big issues when my hands were at their worst. I thought I'd ask just in case they're ever issues again.

Blue Cab seems to be doing a better job of running the A-Ride than Yellow Cab ever did. Every pick up was within five minutes of the start of the scheduled time (they set a half an hour window), and the cabbies were all friendly. The policy has changed from the drivers having no obligation to help passengers reach the cab to them being required to provide assistance from door to door if it's needed. They're not allowed to go inside, but they're not dumping mobility impaired passengers in awkward places.

Today, I have what might be my last PT appointment but also might not. I rather suspect not. My current intention is to take a cab there and the bus back. I think that I'll take the inbound #23 and transfer to the outbound #22. The stop for the #22 is about 2/3 the distance from the house as the stop for the #23 and doesn't require climbing a steep hill to get home. It'll add about half an hour to my trip, but as long as things don't change, I think I can handle that.

I had anxiety issues yesterday afternoon and evening that I couldn't explain except that maybe I felt guilty for not managing to fit in all of my PT exercises. Some of those require lying on the floor, and I didn't want to do them within an hour or so after eating and really couldn't do them while the cleaning lady was here. I probably could have fit them in after she left and before dinner, but by then, I was having reflux issues that made lying down very unappealing. I did do most of the exercises that I could do sitting or standing, though.

I woke this morning with a headache, but food and caffeine seem to have gotten rid of it. I haven't done any of my PT yet because I want to have all of my energy for going out. I'm still very tired and kind of groggy. I don't think more food will help, and I don't have time to make more tea or coffee. I know there's a coffee kiosk somewhere in Taubman (or there used to be), but I don't want to do the walking required to see if I'm remembering correctly. Plus, there's no guarantee that more caffeine would do anything but make me need many visits to the bathroom which would be pretty inconvenient during an hour long PT appointment.

The GSA at Cordelia's school is doing a reading of I Am Jazz for the 4-8th grades today. It's a picture book, so the reading shouldn't take too long. They'll have a panel discussion afterwards. Cordelia's really looking forward to it. She'll be reading the book. I'm not sure if she'll be part of the panel or not. I don't know if any of the kids are out as trans, but with forty to eighty kids in each grade and nine grades, there's pretty sure to be a kid or three somewhere in the school who is trans even if they're not out. My guess is that the reason for having only 4th through 8th is a combination of space limitations and the attention span for the panel discussion and probably also that explanations that suit five year olds aren't going to work for thirteen year olds. That last probably could be dealt with by an experienced presenter, but this is all kids ages eleven to fourteen who've never done anything of the sort before.

And we have more snow today. There’s not a lot of it, just enough to coat everything. At least, Cordelia doesn’t need to walk to school today. If there’s ice on the sidewalks, it mostly shouldn’t affect her.

Cordelia was out for about four hours last night. She says they only watched about half an hour of the movie (the Studio Ghibli Earthsea adaptation) because it was boring. There were only three of them there because the others all had scheduling conflicts. Well, no. One of the girls had to stay home because her parents were worried that the (small amount of) snow would combine badly with drunk drivers due to St Patrick’s Day.

I haven’t made any progress on my Fandom5K story this week, and I’m starting to worry. I know I have enough time to do it; I just can’t seem to focus and find a way into the story.

I’ve been using loops of duct tape, sticky side out, to hold my laptop on place on the old stand. That’s actually working well enough that I’m not going to keep looking for a replacement. Everything I looked at was focused on the ergonomics of viewing rather than the ergonomics of typing, and I am vastly more interested in the typing side.

I tried to nap this morning but couldn’t get my mind to shut down. I was completely relaxed physically, though, so maybe those two hours weren’t entirely wasted.

Cordelia has gone to see Beauty and the Beast with her friends. Scott is going to drop them off and go do the grocery shopping nearby. It means he probably won’t pick up my prescription today, but I’ve got enough left to get through tomorrow, so that should be okay.